


Not Sure

by Shay_Nioum



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jon in the hospital, Mentions of Peter Lukas, Tim survives The Unknowing, mentions of Martin, mentions of elias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: Tim isn’t sure what he’s doing right now, barely able to stand with the aid of his crutches and the pain of his broken leg set in a cast as he stares down at the unbreathing unmoving body of his boss.His boss… Jon…. Jon, looks dead.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	Not Sure

Tim isn’t sure what he’s doing right now, barely able to stand with the aid of his crutches and the pain of his broken leg set in a cast as he stares down at the unbreathing unmoving body of his boss. 

His boss… Jon…. Jon, looks dead.

He had looked dead when they had loaded him into the ambulance, his face so pale that it looked like they had drained all of the blood out of him and had forgotten to put it back. The starkness of it had surprised him the first time he had seen it, it had more than surprised him actually. The first time that he had seen Jon’s lifeless body, he had been sure that he was dead. Everything had been a blur really, if he’s being honest with himself. 

But he remembers looking at Jon, back when they had been sharing a hospital room. 

And he remembers screaming, that part he definitely remembers.

He remembers the screaming, the howl of pain digging its way up through his chest and lacerating his vocal cords even more than before. He remembered fighting against the hospital staff, with dozens of hands trying to force him back down onto the bed and actually keep him there before he could strain his dislocated shoulder back out of place. He remembers the injection that his screaming earned him, and he remembers his head solidly thumping against the flat hospital pillow and his last sight of consciousness being Jon’s face as everything else faded around him into pitch-black darkness. 

They called it a coma apparently, as if someone not breathing or moving was called a coma and not someone being fucking dead. 

He had brain movement though, one of the nurses had told him sympathetically after he had woken up. He wasn’t brain dead, and the institute was paying good money to keep him on life support. 

Tim was fairly certain that had it been him on that bed instead of Jon, Elias himself would have skipped down to the hospital to pull the plug himself. But even so, that didn’t make it any easier to see Jon like this. In fact, it made it harder.

The uncertainty of whether or not he’d pull through, or if he’d die like this… hooked up to a hundred machines with his loved ones all piling through at random intervals of the day. 

He’d seen Martin stop by more than once, a look of utter heartbreak and sadness that seemed too commonplace on the kind gentle man’s face. 

Martin could do better than Jon…

When he had been released from the hospital, a part of him didn’t want to leave. He had been in there for two weeks, whereas Jon had yet to leave let alone wake up or show any signs of life. If felt… well it felt almost unfair if Tim was being honest. The last words that he had spoken to Jon burned on his tongue like a hot iron ball that had been forced into his mouth. What he had said was true, he didn’t forgive Jon. The paranoid man had burned so many bridges when it had come to suspecting them for something that they obviously wouldn’t have done, let alone the freaky power that he had been unearthing with Elias’ supervision. 

But…

If Jon died, if he died then Tim’s last words would be him declaring that he would never forgive him. He’d have to live with that, and…

And if Jon lived, then maybe… maybe something could be done. 

He was tired of being kept in the dark, of being used, of having his friends replaced and him not know a single thing about it, of… of the knowledge that he could be replaced and those closest to him, would never even know. 

Just like Sasha had been. 

So he stood there on his crutches and his leg propped up to alleviate the pain, a part of him didn’t even know what he was really doing there. 

He shouldn’t have been back, now that Elias had been imprisoned there was more and more that needed to be done around the institute and the new head of it… this Peter Lukas, wasn’t exactly going to take slacking off the same as Elias was. The disappearance of Rosie and David told him that well enough, so.. he didn’t know why he was here, although to be fair he didn’t exactly know why a lot of things that were happening were happening. 

A part of him wanted to be angry staring down at Jon, to have that blistering rage that he had held onto before their mission to come back just so that he could dismiss Jon again and never have to talk to him. He wanted the rush of power that had come with talking back to Nikolai and completely destroying any semblance of a ritual, the feeling that he’d had when he’d held the detonator in his hands. But after all of that… after everything that he and the others had been through, and staring down at his boss at Jon…

He just felt helpless.

Like watching his brother get taken away from him all over again. 

His leg throbbed at the memory of it, “J..Jon…” He slowly began, not entirely sure what to say. 

In all of the time that he had shared the hospital room with him, and even after he had left, he’d never spoken to Jon’s body. Not like Martin had, all tears and cold sorrow that had begun to replace the warmth that Martin always gave so freely. Not like Georgie, Jon’s ex who came almost as routinely as Martin did, if not more so. And definitely not like Basira, with her sharp stares that told Tim that the moment that Jon woke up… he wasn’t going to like it. 

He hadn’t said a word to him. 

Readjusting how he was standing, Tim fixed Jon’s lifeless body with a stubborn and determined stare. “Jon,” He said with more vigor and emotion than he actually felt at the moment. “You had better come back, do you understand?” He was way past waiting for a response as he carried on. “You’re making Martin sad, he’s been drinking coffee now because of this. You know how he feels about coffee, so stop doing this.. come back so...so…” And now words failed him once more, what was he supposed to say? He hadn’t expected to come back from this, he had thought that he was going to die in that explosion and that would be the end of that. 

But it wasn’t.

It never was. 

“I listened to your tape,” Tim finally said, eventually sitting down once it became very obvious that he wasn’t going to have a two-sided conversation. “The one that you made before you.. before we left to stop The Unknowing.” A tiny crack of a smile wormed its way onto his face. “I didn’t know that you could be so sappy boss man, not that.. not that you ever expected anyone to hear those I’m sure.” He paused, taking in the unmovingness of Jon’s chest, it was just like talking to a corpse. And something in his chest lurched at the thought, of having to put Jon in a coffin and actually bury him with a tombstone and everything. He didn’t like it. “If you come back.. if you come back from this… I want you to know that I don’t hate you. It will be a long time before I can forgive you… let alone trust you again. But…” Tim’s hand jerked forward, as he statically patted Jon’s icy cold shoulder that felt like solid marble. “I’d like to be able to in the future, if you really want to change like you said you did in your tape. I want to.” 

Nothing.

Not a single sound or peep came from the bedridden man, not that Tim had expected anything to happen. 

But he did feel better, seeing him… talking to him even if he couldn’t answer back. 

Martin had been right. 

The pain in his leg seemed dulled slightly as he clambered up from the chair, and made his way out of the hospital room and the hospital itself.

One week later, Jon wakes up.


End file.
